Waiting…

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Someone took my heart
And held it in their hands
I took it back
But never made amends

Now I’m wishing you well
While wanting you, my dear
Please come back
It’s lack of love I fear

I’m drawn to you
Like bee to pollen
I’m missing you
Since the day I had fallen

Now I wait so patiently
Till the day I see you again
You will always be the one
I wait for you my friend.

Sometimes falling in love is the hardest thing in the world. Sometimes it doesn’t work out but you can’t get over the feeling…ever. You said I didn’t love you, that you were just an idea. But I loved you more than you ever knew. My body aches and wishes for your touch. My dreams make you seem real. I’ll never ever get over you, that is just the way I feel.

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Falling backwards..

We are only human. Sometimes we fall backwards and return to the way things were rather than moving forward. As long as we realize we are moving backwards and are able to analyze the reasons, we can block those reasons to help ourselves get back on the path.

Just had a brand new baby girl! Well I’ve been trying to stay positive and my son has done wonders with helping and caring for her. However he still does four year old things like being loud and not paying attention to things. I started yelling again. He is four why should I feel the need to yell at him, ok sometimes it involves his sister and I’m terrified of him hurting her on accident, but I need to be calmer and realize that yelling may make him stop wanting to help and love on her. I do not want that to happen.

Counting and breathing need to become my best friends again. I am only lucky that I can see why I’m yelling and predict future consequences. Otherwise I may be lost in the void and continue to do the wrong things. I even encourage my son to help me know when I am being unreasonable and getting too loud. This way he has some control over what happens 🙂 I feel it will give him confidence in talking to me and telling me “how it is ” later in life. I do not want a child who hides everything from me because they are afraid I’ll get upset or mad.

My son helps me when I fall backward and we all need support. It’s like peer review. We sometimes can’t catch our own mistakes and we need others to tell us. Let’s keep moving forward!!

Season of Love

lost love

I have loved you for a thousand years
I have loved you for a thousand tears
I have missed you for a thousand days
I have missed you for a thousand ways

Our time was spent to early
Only barely in the spring
We have since lost each other
Like dandelions in the wind

My summer is now beginning
The wounds still burn like the sun
Life will turn and we press on
Yet remembering what I lost

I have loved you for a thousand years
I have loved you for a thousand tears
I have missed you for a thousand days
I have missed you for a thousand ways

When fall is in full gear
Having waded through the years
We will find each other
And given another chance

I hope you keep me warm in winter
I pray you love me till the end
Ill hold on to you forever
Even when were gone.

I have loved you for a thousand years
I have loved you for a thousand tears
I have missed you for a thousand days
I have missed you for a thousand ways

A New Year????

“Resolutions” – why do people have these when we all know that they won’t be lasting longer than a month or two? Is this some quick fix way to make the rest of our lives as acceptable as possible?

We rely on these resolutions to help us fix unwanted aspects of our lives. Smoking, dieting, exercising, or even a number of personal things.

Instead of making resolutions we should be making real changes. One of my changes was to be better at keeping in touch with people especially those I lose touch with for years at a time. I wrote my first letter in a long time and am sending it tomorrow in the mail. Starting with something so simple like writing one person a letter at a time is one way I am increasing my communication skills while undertaking my goal. Even if the person does not respond, I have tried and can then proceed to contact another person and another.

Small steps are needed to achieve our goals, big grand gestures normally fall short and use up a lot of energy. Writing this blog for myself and reminding myself to stay positive are two more things I am working on changing. Key words here are “working on”. I am not stating I will be a better person this year I am stating that I am working on becoming better. Changes take time and ease us into new ideas.

My mantra for 2015 : stay positive and keep moving forward!
Lets make changes we can actually achieve and together we will strive to be better.