This was not my plan.

Everyday I tell myself “Today is the day, I will teach these student everything they want to know and get them behaving appropriately per school rules”, and yet everyday I struggle to find the balance between teaching what I believe and lecturing students with endless rules and procedures.

For some reason, it is as if they never got their hearing checked when a baby and everyone just kept passing them through different grades instead of stopping and making sure their child has all the tools necessary to be successful. Some of these kids are so smart, perhaps they are not being challenged enough, but when they come to my room, I don’t have a way of giving them harder work. Its a lot of writing and independent work given to me by their teachers.

Then other times when they are not doing their work, I have a social skills work book they must work on.  It gives very brief steps to follow in areas like : getting the teacher’s attention, making an apology, following directions.  All of these turn into lectures for my more unstable learners. I have to constantly repeat the expectation, constantly repeat the expectation, constantly repeat the expectation. You didn’t even like reading that did you? I also hate repeating it.

And then there is the fact that I can not give them any punishments or disciplinary actions for not doing their work or acting up in my class. What I can do is continuously call the admin and maybe they will talk with them, or maybe they will send them home for the day. That’s it. the children are not learning anything other than I can not do anything to them while they are misbehaving, so they just continue doing whatever they please.

Please do not get me wrong, I love these kids so much and I care about them, but how frustrated do you get when your child wont listen to you. At least you have the option of disciplining the kids as you see fit. I try showing these kids that we love them, showing them that I WILL listen to them and talk with them about family, trips, schoolwork, future ideas and plans. I help them when they need it. I have several students that just want to eat lunch with me so they can talk free of judgment and ridicule. Students that visit me every afternoon just to give me a hug. I love them. I just need new ideas on how to get them to listen and actually her what we are saying.

I don’t want to lecture. I want to help children gain understanding of the world around them experience. Some public schools just don’t offer teachers the freedom needed to really teach. That’s what I want one day. But for now I am getting closer and closer to my RV dream. I will spend the next few years teaching my children and being a mom first.

Daily Prompt – Lecture