My Favorite Place

My favorite place is anywhere as long as my kids are with me. This is only one of our favorite places, Lyod Park at Joe pool lake. I am sure once we get our Skoolie on the road we will find many places we will claim as our favorite. But I didn’t want to go anywhere without these kiddos. Daily Post – Picture of the weekkids

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Are you teaching your kids?

I was standing outside today with my garden club at school and one of our lovely girls offered to do the sweeping. I handed her the broom and she started sweeping all the dirt towards her feet because she was never shown how to handle a broom. How are nine-year-olds getting by with no chores and no one showing them basic life skills? I don’t understand it. My son has had a broom since he was three and my daughter has been helping in the kitchen since she could talk.

You wanna know why kids are feeling entitled and why they are rude and selfish? Because that is what we are teaching them when we don’t make them help out around the house, church, or anywhere really. You are hurting your kids and the future they will grow up in.  You are worried about being a good mother and for some reason nowadays that means that you do everything for your kids. Do not get me wrong I love doing things for my kids, but I also know the life we have and the adventures we plan on having, my kids need to be more self-reliant.

Nor are my kids prone to act they are entitled but I shut that down fast. The other night we came home from work after a long day and my son immediately starts hounding me for food. I told him I would cook dinner and asked him to pick up things out of the living room. After a few minutes, I found him laying on the floor, so I asked him again to pick things up. He still did not want to, claiming he was too hungry to eat. I said “Well if you are not going to help me clean, I am not going to help feed you” He had to make his own dinner and then he still had to clean.

No way I am letting my children demand everything from me. It is a give and take here.

As most know by now, we are going to be traveling for a while with the kids and I expect them to be able to handle themselves to a certain degree based on their ages. My son has been traveling through the woods with his sister without supervision for quite some time now, and in doing so there are rules he must follow. Now that we are building up the inside of our bus, I expect them to be able to help with the process. My son(7) and daughter(3) were able to paint objects inside the bus without constant supervision because I have explained to them what I expect from them and how they should help.

The Suv seats that we put in the bus were given to us for free by an older gentleman. he asked if we could send pictures of the seats on the bus to let him know it worked out for us. I finally got to send them to him yesterday after the kids painted most of the wood base the seat was bolted into. He was so happy they worked for us. after a few minutes of talking, he suggested to me that in a decade my kids would be the only well-adjusted kids I know. I don’t mind agreeing with him (cause hey, praise to my kids) but I really hope that is not the case. I am not sure if it was because he saw them painting on it or just because of the lifestyle we have chosen. But I thanked him generously anyway.

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If your children are not helping you to do anything in your house, outside of the home, helping friends at school, or anything, How can you expect them to live in this world without you? What values are you teaching your kids and how are you making sure they become independent?

Yes, it is hard, I do get frustrated when I ask them to do things and they don’t do it, or do it wrong, or make an even bigger mess. But if I never let them try and set good examples for them then I don’t see how they will learn to do these things themselves. As you know I do not believe the school will teach them any basic life skills. So it is up to US to do it. Yesterday, felt so good when I got to tell the kids “Thank you” after they helped with the bus the whole day. Was the whole day perfect….NO. But they did their best. They painted, helped hold wood, Dae watched his sister and me and dad got to work almost undisturbed at tearing apart wood pallets.

And no, I do not make my kids spend their entire day cleaning and helping me. Yes, I let my kids be kids. We go to friends houses, we go to parks, we walk around the woods by the lake, and some days we spend in front of the T.V playing Minecraft together. Maybe you think you are doing better than me, Ok great. Maybe you think I am crazy for making the kids DO things instead of letting them run my house, Okay great. But this is what I feel works for my family and this is what is going to help the future our kids live in.

Fertility, Love and …Whips

Valentine’s Day, the day of…beating women? A fertility rite performed by the Romans, way too long ago, called Lupercalia, or the Feast of Lupercalia. Men would kill and skin dogs and goats. Then they would dip strips of the skin into jugs of milk and draw a woman’s name and proceed to beat fertility into her. Women would line the streets waiting to be hit with this fertility giving skin strips and be paired with the man who did the hitting for the duration of the festival. They could stay with each other for longer periods if they felt the match was the right one. Oh did I mention they did this naked as well?

lupercalia

Around the 3rd century AD, suspiciously, Emperor Claudius put a ban on all marriages and engagements. unable to stop people from loving each other, one of the Valentines (there were at least 3 different men by the name all executed by the Emperor) continued marriage rites in secret. The Emperor found out and had the man beat with clubs and the decapitated.

The Catholic Church, in response to the brave man’s death, named the martyr St. Valentine and celebrated the Saint on Feb. 14th, the date of his beheading.

Later in the 5th century, Pope Gelasius merged both these holidays in hopes to squash the naked pagan rituals that would have naked people running in the streets.

Although no one can say exactly when Valentine’s day truly originated, it is very possible it became a melting pot of other holidays and then at some point lumped into this suspicious $18 billion dollar industry expected in 2018.

For some reason, people need to be told when to buy gifts for their loved ones, or when to express their feelings for another. When I moved out of my parents house, I decided to stop celebrating this day because it made no sense to me. I do not need a box of chocolates or a vase of flowers to know someone loves me. I mean honestly, you can buy me chocolate at any time and I will be just as happy.

Then there is the crowding. You know what happens when there is one holiday for love…Everywhere is booked, you get stuck in traffic, and spend half the time driving around town spending more money than you normally would for a random gift of love any other time.

Buy her something that makes you think of her. Buy her something she can actually use. Buy her things throughout the year to show love and appreciation. Ladies, this goes for you as well. You are not the only one in a relationship and they should not have to feel pressured to buy you all of these things on this one specific day. To me, that is not a form of love, but ya know to each their own.

If we spent more time LOVING each other rather than BUYING each other we wouldn’t be falling into this multibillion-dollar industry and making big companies richer. It’s just very suspicious we would let a company feed on our supposed love for each other and let them exploit that love by making more and more items that cost more each year and then make us feel like shit when we cant afford the new thing, because to them that means we don’t love our significant other.

Love your life every day, love your wife every day, love your husband every day love yourself every day, love your own way every day.

Daily Prompt – Suspicious

 

 

Beloved! Weekly photo challenge

This is my grandmother’s gravesite. She passed away in 2005, five years before my son was born. He never got to hold her and love her.

I chose this picture because my son seems to be reaching towards the sky in the light of the sun as if my grandmother came down to visit her first greatgrandson.

Not much later my grandfather passed of the same cancer as my grandmother. He stayed until he couldn’t stay any more. He wanted to hang on to watch my son grow a little and now I know he looks down on us watching him grow even more with my grandmother by his side.

photo challenge

Stifled Myself

Walking down the street at night,

I did not see your face in the light.

Walking past my lifelong dream,

I did not see you, now I want to scream.

When we were young, I was oblivious,

Much too stupid and often curious.

I went past you once again,

To find out I’d lost a friend.

Growing, Growing, never knowing,

My stifled youth was my own doing.

Midway through I finally knew,

All I needed, My thoughts on you.

I finally saw you on that night,

Your face in all my lights.

My breath is stifled for new reasons,

Your hand in mine through the seasons.

Love like this is oh so powerful.

Daily Prompt- Stifle

 

 

 

 

The ex, the father, the friend.

We broke up right before my son was born. Ok I say we, but it was me who broke up with him. Horrible communication led us to desert each other when we needed each other the most. I can’t name just one thing that made me make the decision I did about the future, but I do know that it cost me almost six years of a life with a family. But maybe it was a cost worth paying. The time we were separated made both of us grow as people. people who weren’t dependent on another person for happiness, people who wanted to become the best us possible before we became an us.

We have known each other since we were eleven and twelve. We stayed friends through high school. Like most people after high school you tend to lose track of people and this was especially true since he was two grades ahead of me. He did date ne of my friends for a long time and that helped me keep tabs on him till I too was out of high school. It took another two years, which seemed like five to me, before we saw each other again. We started hangin out and doing things together, then after a while it was getting intimate. too fast and too soon my son was born. By that time we had drifited apart again. Me tryin to grow up and him not quite realizing what grown up was. We were 21 and 22.  I was scared and did not know if that was the right path for me, scared of being a family, scared of everything.

For a long time afterward I was mad and filled with anger. Why did he not fight for me and his son, why would he let me walk away? Then when we finially did do some growing I began to wonder if there would ever be a right time for us.

Now might be that time. We have started dating again and we are both optimistic about the future. Taking it slow, learning new things about each other and discovering ways in which we have grown. I am hoping for an exciting time getting to work things out with one of my best friends who has been there for me even through court battles and drama to let me vent in anger. The one who has been there to do mosre for his son than I imagined and more than my daughters father ever thoight about doing for her (during the six years we were seperated I had another baby, whose father also left me when I was pregnant). He is willingly to look past the fact there are mpre kids here than he has biologically and that is great. He makes me proud lately with the way he handles himself and situations and its rather shown me that people are constantly changing. And lots of times it is for the better.

To new beginnings!

True love….I want you back

Band hall, that is where I first saw you
Where I knew I had to have you
Hair in your face and lips I could trace
Holes in your jeans and holes in your heart
I wanted to fix, instead I tore it apart

Young and stupid, crude was my love
Not refined by experience
You turned away from me
I wish then I could of seen
The way I looked to you

Now I know what I want from you
I want to wait until I can truly love you
Wait until you are ready
If you ever welcome me
In your arms I will be
Till death do us part
Or you will remain
Forever in my heart.

ALD – my “first true” love

JWC – My only real love